Dear Dave,

25 Mon, 2011 § Leave a comment

There was always something different about you ~

…insightful & deep & talented but also silly & carefree…

We could talk for hours & never bore — we are still blessed with long, meaningful conversations (as well as silliness).  You a strong man, & I have always cherished the beautiful person you are, full of love, compassion & openness to grow.

Every day is brighter with you in my life.

Our lives could have easily taken very different courses after we first met, but somehow — fortunately — reconnected.  Even now, I am often overwhelmed with how amazingly & beautifully life has worked out.

I only wish I expressed how I truly feel better & more often.

Happy Birthday, my love.

We Enjoy the Silliness

23 Wed, 2011 § 6 Comments

Even with anticipated work stress, you know it’s going to be an ok day when by 8AM you have already cracked up – in a good way.

Dave & I played “Man vs Wild Snow & Traffic” on the bus yesterday.  Actually, Dave played, & I lost it.  I am fairly obsessed with Bear Grylls & “Man vs Wild”.  If you do not know what I am talking about, stop now & go enlighten yourself.  Bear Grills is a bad ass, intelligent – he even usually uses “literally” correctly – & he has an English accent.  😉  Enough said.

[source]

It all started because overnight, the snow & ice made the roads in Flagstaff quite “slippy” this morning.  [Bear always says slippy instead of slippery.]  From our seats on the bus, we watched cars slide off the road & instructed each other on “proper technique” for maintaining traction & traversing “slippy” slopes & cautioned how “a good friend, only a few years ago, had lost his footing on a slope much like this & slid all the way to the bottom.  He suffered numerous injuries & barely survived.”  Dave marveled over the “traditions of the locals” & the lengths people are willing to go to attach a pair of sticks to their feet to slide down a hill.  You have to do this all in an English accent or it’s not as funny.  😉  I know; we’re dorks.  I like it this way. I like that we can be silly.  Laughing is the only way to start your day.

Maybe you’re not as amused – though I can’t imagine why not – so here are some workout options I’ve done lately if you’d rather just sweat:

Playground Workout ~ HIIT ~ 4 minutes each exercise = 6 rounds each: 10 seconds rest; 30 seconds max effort

  • Ninja Jump Tucks
  • Chin Ups
  • Surfers
  • One-Arm Side Lying Tricep Press Ups

Balanced ~ full-bodied HIIT ~ 4 minutes each exercise = 6 rounds each: 10 seconds rest; 30 seconds max effort

  • Scorpion Flips 5 – 6 – 6 – 5 – 6 – 6
  • Skater Lunges (L, R) 13 – 14 – 15 – 15 – 15 – 15
  • Pull Ups (rounds 1, 2, 4, 5 pull ups; rounds 3, 6  chin ups) 9 – 7 – 7 – 6 – 9 – 7
  • Mountain Climbers 37 – 36 – 31 – 31 – 32 – 34

Breathing Ladders ~ Remember these?

  • 12# medicine ball swings 1:10:1 = 22:30 minutes

~

I tried to ride my morning high, but so many things wore me down yesterday.  By the time I got home, I did not want to turn my computer on, leave the house or do anything but sit with Dave & talk, play with Eisley & finally relax.

Just before 6:00 this morning, we saw a huge herd of elk right outside our gym though; so I am optimistic today will be a good day.

~

How silly can you be with your spouse/partner?

Empty Sink = Full Heart

5 Thu, 2010 § 2 Comments

I am Inadequate.

This is the self doubt with which I have been struggling recently.  What is it they say?  “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”?  Apparently, I have given permission…to myself.

I have allowed the pressures of conventional requirements for modern “survival” engulf me, interfering with my personal ideal of living & happiness.  I have been questioning my career path…my worth…whether I pull my weight.  I have been tackling this demon head on; but last night, I needed a break.

~ I made cookies. ~

It is difficult to dwell on my own sense of inadequacy when immersed in a task centered around another person – especially if that task turns out delicious & is well received.

Sleepiness caught up, & I knowingly made a rare blunder I could only regret: I left the kitchen in disarray.  Mixing bowls, measuring cups, cookie sheets…filled the sink, spilling over the edges.

This morning I knew what waited downstairs as I approached with dread.  I hate waking up to a mess; I even have a difficult time enjoying dinner when I know there is a mess in the kitchen.

I rounded the corner into our small dining room & sat at the table, because I was not ready to tackle the sink.  I did not even want to look at it yet.  Finally I glanced.  I sat there staring for the longest time, smiling…at the empty sink.  I love when he does this.

Relief settled, & I was overwhelmed with a sense of being loved & valued.

How does his thoughtful act renew my sense of worth?  Perhaps it is reciprocated appreciation.  Maybe it is acknowledging someone needs me – & cares enough to show — admitting to myself the happiness I bring to his life.  Maybe love really is all you need.

I am not going to over-analyze it.  Today I am carrying that love with me.  I am reminded of what is truly imperative & will not sweat the rest.  Not today.  Other feelings might creep back in until more solidly resolved.  Now, enveloped in love, I feel adequate.  Now, in this moment, I am ok.  🙂

That is all we are given anyway, right?  This moment.

I will take what it offers & leave the rest.  When I try to grasp every particle this crazy world throws at me…discern, analyze, attach…I am left empty-handed…it transmits to my heart.

This moment, I smile, & this moment & this moment & this moment…

Let everything else follow.

~

How often do we overlook or dismiss the value we hold in others’ eyes?  How often do our relationships become commonplace, disregarded or stressed with the pressure of our own expectations?  Today, remember who you are to someone else [friend, lover, partner, mother, father, teacher…]  Try to see yourself as he does.  Whom do you value in your life?  Does she know – really know?  No act is too small to convey – or create – a river of emotion.

~

Who knew an empty sink would fill my heart so & renew my sense of self worth?

Thank you Dave.

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