14 Thu, 2011 § 6 Comments
Yesterday, I needed a lot of “me” breaks.
I stayed productive filling out forms for school, researching whether it might be in our favor to move to another apartment later this year, baked yogurt biscuits (from scratch by hand) & even debated over a few job applications; but I also spent the day on the verge of losing it. Like total meltdown. I don’t even know how to put into words what I’ve been feeling or maybe I just don’t want to put a voice to it yet.
I could throw myself a pity party, but that isn’t really what I need. Instead I took some me time throughout the day. Some of it quiet; some of it intense — not necessarily distractions but specific ways I could focus my energy while clearing my head. I usually come back with a refreshed perspective in place of the former doom.
So early in the morning, I went for a slow walk with Eisley & my camera. Walking still means I’m in my head a lot; but once I start playing with the camera, my attention shifts to what I’m seeing & trying to capture rather than the stress in my head. I really only came back with one image I like. I might share it tomorrow.
Mid-day, I decided to drop in on a yoga class. Especially tight muscles meant all of my energy went into breathing & trying to relax into even basic poses.
I was feeling better. I was coping. Still, “it” lingered.
Finally, Wednesday evenings mean spinning, which is usually a torturous treat I only look forward to. Fifteen minutes before class, I was barely coaxing myself out the door, knowing it would only do good even if I didn’t feel up to it.
The substituting instructor destroyed us. I have never sprinted that many intervals, ever.
In the midst of a truly brutal workout, there is no room to feel sorry for yourself or to call yourself weak or think your are worthless. You dig, you push & you don’t give up. You tell yourself you can do anything for 30 seconds, because you are so much stronger than you think you are; & you even have a little more to give & suddenly, you are pedaling even harder. You feel like vomiting, but instead, you grin, grunt & push. Drenched & fatigued, you can’t stop smiling all the way home.
Maybe I’m just riding the endorphin high. The issues are still there, but suddenly I’m that strong, capable person again. I can take this on, breathe, sort through it, push myself, smile & live each moment.
That’s all we can do anyway, right?
30 Thu, 2011 § 6 Comments
“Wisteria woke me this morning,
& there was all June in the garden…”
~Ann McGough, Summons
I was almost tempted to accuse June of flitting by, but it didn’t actually sweep through barely noticed. Summer finally made herself known; in the June afternoons, we soaked her in. When I think about how I spent these days & what they were made of, I smile. I just love summer. I thought I would share some of my current favorite things.
~ Lately I have been loving red leaf butter lettuce. We wrap the flavorful leaves, filled with a salad of crushed chickpeas, dill relish & lemon or yellow split peas tossed with a pesto of kale, pepitas & cherry bomb peppers.
~ Speaking of kale, my newest fixation is roasting it shortly with coconut oil, just a tiny dash of toasted sesame oil & a generous sprinkle of flaked coconut. A perfect snack that travels well enough.
~ When I’m home for lunch (or in need of a quick dinner), a favorite fix is an unda-style quesadilla with a little tarragon in a yummy, flaky rice tortilla. I don’t miss the cheese & sometimes even throw a spoonful of toasted capers on top.
~ Summer reminds me I do enjoy oats in the morning if done right, which is simply & cold: Italian-style muesli (also known as overnight/soaked oats) softened in vanilla hemp milk. No frills: I like simple combinations. Currently my jar is filled with thick-rolled oats, roasted pistachios, golden raisins & maybe occasional flakes of coconut.
~ The glass carafe in the fridge is filled with thick slices of cucumbers floating in cool water. This is so refreshing & sweet.
~ When we want a little something more than water, we fill casual scotch glasses with Tinto de Verano. Half sparkling lemonade, half inexpensive, Spanish red wine. I like tempranillo or a tempranillo-merlot blend. Don’t forget a squeeze of fresh lemon — this makes it.
~ I am craving chocolate shakes & seeing too many interesting homemade ice cream pairings. I recently borrowed my SIL’s ice cream maker, & July might be all about homemade creameries.
~ Some might find it a shame to puree beautiful, fresh produce into chilled soups, but it’s heavenly.
~ We are usually climbing to some degree throughout the year, but I feel I am finally getting my training in focus & just enjoying it.
~ I can’t stop watching this beautiful & inspiring video of Natasha Wang.
~ How did I just learn about this? The creative (yet-everything-in-its-place) girl is having a hay day.
~ I am soaking in summer with a lot of play. In my downtime, my head is usually in a book. I recently finished two great novels by Margaret Atwood & thoroughly enjoyed The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. Now I’m onto Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent. Also on my summer reading list: The Comedians, Graham Greene & Her Fearful Symmetry, Audrey Niffenegger.
~ I am feeling crafty. Again, how did I not know about Pinterest?
~ Also smitten with minibooks. We are doing one for our San Francisco trip. definitely.
Tell me about your current obsessions & favorites. Did June fly by or did you soak it in?