I Wish…& Simplicity
13 Fri, 2011 § 7 Comments
I wish I didn’t second guess every post.
I wish I didn’t immediately hate every thing I create. Maybe I am an unknowing artist. Ok, so I do make some pretty tasty meals, & sometimes, I sit back from the screen or paper & feel good about my expressions. Too often, after I hit “publish”, I cringe.
I wish I felt secure in my own voice & style.
I wish I didn’t worry about being fresh, original. I want to accept my randomness & share significant aspects of myself without worry you’ll hate it or find it inconsistent or too far from the niche (which I actually don’t want to fall into).
I wish I didn’t feel the pressure to post every day…& guilt when I “fail”. Maybe I don’t have something to say every day. Maybe my expressions are limited. Ok, that’s not true, but maybe my infinite expressions are not limited to the forms of writing or this blog. And that’s ok.
I wish I didn’t get caught up in this peculiar blog-a-sphere & forget why I started aroadmorebalanced in the first place. To explore my creativity. To share & exchange insights. To talk about food. To talk about passions. To talk about life.
I wish I always cooked for the sake of cooking & food & strengthening my relationship with them, rather than for the sake of blogging. I wish I wasn’t afraid to share my overly-simple “recipes” which aren’t recipes at all. Why am I afraid to share rather than relish & celebrate what I love? Simple, delicious, fresh food; where the colors & textures & taste speak. No frills, because that’s me.
~ Get back to the root of it all. Remember why I love food & cooking & blogging. ~
Monday evening, I suddenly found myself in the kitchen mixing spices. What looked like a lot of work to Dave was therapeutic to me. I lost myself in each step, absorbed in the aromas & textures of fennel & cumin seeds, peppercorns & coriander. I immersed myself in the quick, but semi-tedious process of individually toasting & cooling each nut & spice seed, before thoughtfully grinding them together by hand in the mortar & pestle. Dukkah is an Egyptian spice Heidi Swanson shares in her recent cookbook Super Natural Every Day. I knew immediately I would be won over by this version. It is fragrant, earthy & lovely.
Egyptian street vendors sell small paper cones with their unique blend of this spice, along with strips of pita bread. Customers dip the bread into the vendor’s bowl of olive oil & then in the dukkah.
I hadn’t planned to take a photo but simply enjoy the intimate experience of combining simple ingredients by hand to yield a beautiful spice; but my last bite drew me outside into the fading sun…because even though this is not a recipe, this is what I want to share sometimes: Moments, not just the food, that arise from the kitchen.
Do you have a blog? Is it moving closer or further from your original design & intent?
Do you need to reconnect?